A Spotted Past
by Lirynn
Summary: More often than not Miraculous Holders were reincarnations of themselves. Tikki wasn't lying when she told Marinette that each Ladybug was different. Each had been raised in different times, with different cultures and morals. But Marinette was arguably the strongest in a long time. Tikki regrets nothing, but she wishes every time that this wasn't such a painful part of it all.
It seriously took 2 hours to format this so the Fanfiction editor thingie wouldn't destroy it.

There's a Glossary/Explanation at the end.

Please Enjoy!

Rynn

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A Spotted Past

A Miraculous Ladybug Drabble

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More often than not (with a few exceptions) every Miraculous holder is a reincarnation of themselves.

Marinette has been a holder for all but a few Ladybugs. Tikki didn't lie when she told Marinette that every Ladybug was different. They were all raised in different times, different cultures, with different expectations and moral views. Each body had different abilities and growth rates. Marinette was just stronger than most of them. Soon, she would be able to last longer after using her lucky charm, and some of the abilities of her predecessors (incarnations) would emerge as well. Her ability to quickly find the use of her Lucky Charm came from her Egyptian incarnation Meskhenet, whose intelligence could not be surpassed in her era.

Tikki regretted nothing, not one thing, but she would always be sorry for the gift left behind by her one of her oldest Chinese Holders, Li Chi: she could remember everything near perfectly. It was now called a Photographic memory. It wasn't in effect out of the suit thank goodness, but it would always affect her Ladybugs: they would always remember. Every action taken while in the suit, utilizing the powers of creation, would be known exactly to the next wielder. The more emotion attached to an event, the more vividly the memory could be experienced.

Marinette was, arguably, the most empathetic of her charges. That was a good thing: her abilities would come to her quicker, and she would be better able to sync up with Chat Noir; or any other Miraculous holder. It was also a bad thing: it made her susceptible to akuma, and to the memories of her predecessors.

And lately they had been getting more potent.

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Sometimes when she closed her eyes she saw things as they once were.

In a time ago, where the light of the sun baked the land, she would awaken _(dream-it has to be a dream-please)._

Her hair was short and coarse, her skin darker than usual, and her lips spoke words she couldn't understand, but she would be unafraid. Always across from her _(next to her-under her in the dark of night-above her in the light of dawn-back to back-in front of her)_ was her beloved Chaton _(Maahes, her strong lion)_.

He did not look as he did now _(the future? The dream?)_ ; his hair was dark like hers, cut severely to keep out of his face, his skin was dark, and he wore a linen kilt belted with a gold and black sash, but his mask covered his eyes and they were still the beautiful, slit green eyes of her Chat, though his cat ears were far taller and pointed than what she was used to.

They would be running across the rooftops at night his spear strapped across his back, a familiar grin on his face, or lying together upon the sands still warm from the sun in the cool of the night and she would look in his eyes and see same gleam of something, she didn't know _(she's lying she knows she is-she hears it when she speaks of Adrien-feels it when she looks upon Chat Noir)_ and she could feel her smile widen and they would kiss and it was  RIGHT and it would still be right as her body warmed and craved his flesh like nothing else she has ever known.

Then she would awaken _(go to sleep? Don't let it be a dream-please-no)_ and she would be empty, because the man whom she loved was not next to her and she was not loved _(so afraid she would NEVER be loved in such a manner again even if it was only a dream-memory)._

But the tears to express such pain would not fall _(she had cried enough-too many times-too many nightmares and dreams and memories)_ and Tikki would look at her with such sad eyes, but smile anyway and she would dredge up something similar enough that they could ignore the pain they shared.

Tikki would hand her a cookie from the plate on her desk and they would climb up on the balcony and watch the stars. Tikki would not ask her what was wrong; she knew. On the worse nights she would apologize, but there would be no need because it wasn't her fault.

 _(Marinette knows that Tikki loved her no matter her face or name, and Marinette loves Tikki just as much, sometimes even more for that knowledge alone.)_

Night would pass and when she finally fell back in bed, only to awaken late for school, they would act as though nothing happened. The dreams _(because they can't be memories, please, I can't love them all only to see most of them taken from her, don't let me mourn them, I'm heartbroken enough)_ would not stop. Not until she had all of them, and they only came to her when she was most exhausted. She would endure. She would love Adrien (semi)publicly and in her heart she would know that she loved Chat Noir just as much.

As much as she had tried, she couldn't NOT love him, he meant so much. _Too_ much. She can't do it again. She can't love and lose him not like those others _(She lost Maahes to Tutankhamun. She lost Hei Mao to the Dragon Kin.)_ Marinette will endure. Love the safe Adrien. Wish to wipe away the loss she sometimes sees in his eyes.

 _(Smile, Marinette. Alya is looking, Maman and Papa are worried. Laugh. Joke. Ask Maman when her cousin is visiting. Ask papa about a new recipe. Poke at the Ladyblog, and at Nino. Say hello to Adrien. Never mind. Just wave. Another day. Smile, Marinette, Smile.)_

 _(Be strong Ladybug. The people are watching. They need me. I will stop the pain. Soothe the fears. Stand tall for them. Ladybug cannot falter. Cannot give up. Will not give up.)_

My past _(Ladybug)_ is not important now _(Marinette as Ladybug)_.

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 **Meskhenet** : Egyptian name meaning "destiny" and "fortune."

 **Maahes** : Lion-headed Egyptian god of war. Said to be the son of Creation god Ptah and Bastet (Lower Egypt) or Sekhmet (Upper Egypt). Name means "He who is true beside her."

 **Li Chi** : Mythological heroine of China at/around 5th century BCE. Slayed a dragon who had been demanding sacrifices of young girls in her province. For more check the Rejected Princesses website.

 **Hei Mao** : Literally "Black Cat" in Chinese.

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I put down that Maahes was killed by Tutankhamun because in "The Pharaoh" we only see Ladybug on the papyrus, when it's canon that there is always a Chat Noir (or whatever) if there is a Ladybug. The only reason I could see for the Egyptians to not have what they would have seen as the demi-god child to one of their most beloved gods was if he fell in battle, and the shame that their Pharaoh had been the one to cause it, would keep them from recording his downfall.

Please review and tell me your opinions!

Yours in Fandom,

Rynn


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